Sardar sms

Teacher: Santa tum bade ho kar kya banan chate ho?
Santa: Pilot
Teacher: kyo?
Santa: kyoki upar koi nahi hota.

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Killer: try i get life time imprisonment.
Sardar lawyer: Don't worry
After court decision
Killer: What happen?
Sardar lawyer: U got life imprisonment some how, 

court was leaving you.

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Qatil: Koshish karna ki mujhe umar kaid

ho jaye maut ki saja na ho.
Sardar Lawyer: Don't worry.
After court decision:
Quatil kya hua? Sardar lawyer: 

Bahut mushkil se umar kaid mili, 

sale riha kar rahe the.

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Teacher: Santa what you wants to be in future?
Santa: Pilot
Teacher: why?
Santa: because no traffic in air.

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Santa: how you control your anger when we have fight.
Preeto: By cleaning toilet bowl.
Santa: How it helps you?
Preeto: I use your brush.

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Santa: Tum apna gussa kaise control karti ho kab tumhe gussa aata hai?
Preeto: Toilet saaf kar ke.
Santa: Isse tumko kaise help milti hai?
Preeto: Mai tumhara brush use karti hu.

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Santa: agar mera phone ho to kahna ki mai ghar par nahi hu.
Jeeto: Wo ghar par hai.
Santa: maine kaha tha ki khana ki mai ghar par nahi hu.
Jeeto: phone mere liye tha.

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Ek baar electric line ka wire santa ke upar gir gaya.
Sardar santa tadap tadap kar marne wala tha.
Phir usse yaad aaya ki: 2 din se waha par electricity nahi hai.

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Santa ko ek court me bulaya.
Gita par haath rakh kar kasam khao.
Santa: Ye kya sir, Sita par hath rakha to yaha bulaya.
Ab Gita par haath rakho.

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Banta was standing with her sister. And one man touched her sister accidentally.
He told sorry sardarji, I touched your wife accidentally.
Banta: May be your wife but she is my sister.

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Santa: Take this card.
Waiter: But sir this is voter id card.
Santa: But you wrote. All cards accepted here.

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Professor: Should women have children after 35??
Santa: No, 35 is more then enough.

Professor: Kya Women ko 35 ke bad children hona chahiye??
Santa: Nahi, 35 hi bahut hai.

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Once santa girlfriend asked him. 

If i ever engage with you, Give the ring.
Santa singh: Sure what is your phone number.

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Santa ki girl friend ne usse pucha ki. 

Agar tum mujhse shaddi karoge to tum mujhe ring dena.
Santa bola: Sure, but tumhara phone number kya hai.